


And a pipe bomb just for fun

by sparrowhawk17



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 07:23:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11709612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparrowhawk17/pseuds/sparrowhawk17
Summary: One Shot for the prompt: Fury.





	And a pipe bomb just for fun

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from Crazy Eddie's Last Hurrah by Reckless Kelly. This is a one shot, I intend to leave it at a one shot. Please do not use it as a prompt for your own writing without permission.

Title: And a pipe bomb just for fun  
Author: sparrowhawk17  
Fandom: MCU (After Avengers, slight spoilers for Agents of Shield, not compliant with anything else, and pulling more from comic book Clint)  
Prompt: Fury  
Characters: Bruce Banner, Nick Fury, Clint Barton  
Genre: slash  
Word Count: 636  
Warnings: No beta, Fury’s potty mouth, Clint’s trick arrows (Clint is the MCU’s answer to MacGyver, seriously)

 

Bruce paused as he entered his lab. _Hulk sensed that something was off, and he was not about to let puny Banner get hurt._

“Hello?” Bruce called out, then turned on the lights that usually turned on by themselves when he entered the lab.

Director Fury’s head poked out of a closet. “Shut the fuck up, Banner. I’m hiding here.” The Director took a few quick glances around then shut himself back in the closet.

Bruce blinked a few times then moved to his work station to pull up his email to see if SHIELD had set up a training exercise without telling him. Typically SHIELD did its best to avoid Hulk incidents, but mistakes could be made.

When he discovered no warning emails from SHIELD (or Tony), Bruce pulled up the Avengers chat on his computer and sent a message to Tony (and, of course, JARVIS). _“Is there a reason that Director Fury is hiding in my lab?”_

_“If Barton appears in your office, LEAVE IMMEDIATELY”_ was all that Tony wrote in reply.

Now even more confused, Bruce padded lightly over to the storage closet, and making a show of inventorying objects nearby, he muttered to the Director, “why is Clint Barton hunting for you, Director?”

Fury sighed, “he found out Coulson’s still alive.”

“Okay,” Bruce drew out the word for a few moments. “I got that memo, why are you in his crosshairs?”

“The plan was to break it to him gently, possibly while he was sedated,” Fury grumbled. “The plan was to have Phil on stand-by to prove to Barton that we weren’t lying to him.”

Bruce dragged a stool over, dropping all pretense of not talking to the man hiding in a closet, “so what happened?” One of these days he’d figure out why everyone treated him like their therapist. But not today.

“Phil went out for some shitty gas station powdered doughnuts,” Bruce snorted, the whole team knew of that addiction. “Right, never did understand what the man liked about those things, but, Phil being Phil, he walking right into an armed robbery, and of course tried to stop it.” Fury huffed out a breath and cracked the door open a few inches, glancing around again, he continued. “Phil got the robber subdued, but took a shot to the shoulder – the same damn shoulder.”

Bruce felt his heart rate increasing, “where is he?”

“The cops arrived just as Phil got the guy down, the paramedics got there right after. He’s at General under sedation. The surgery went fine, but they had to call his next of kin for paperwork, and they did that before I could get anyone in to stop them.”

“And Clint is his next of kin?” Bruce wondered aloud.

“Well, I’m married to the guy,” Clint interrupted. “Or I was, before he died. Not sure how that actually works. Til death do us part, does that include involuntary resurrection? Hello Director.” Clint stood at the far end of Bruce’s lab, just beneath an opened vent hatch. Bruce had never seen Clint so armed. He idly wondered if Natasha was far behind.

Hulk rumbled louder in his mind, “you heard the Director, Clint, Phil is fine.” Bruce hoped his voice was level.

“And yet for the last six months I thought my husband was dead,” there was an odd tone to his voice that made Bruce _want_ to invite Hulk to the party.

Then Clint grinned wide and he pulled out his bow in one hand and something Bruce didn’t want to name in his other hand.

“Fuck me,” Fury cursed.

“So I gathered up the usual arrows, and a pipe bomb just for fun,” with that Clint flicked his wrist, flung the bomb at Fury, and Hulk made his grand entrance.

“Aw, Hulk, no,” was the last thing Bruce heard.


End file.
